Straight Talk with Joan Rivers
BY Laurie Brookins
A friend of mine used to be Joan Rivers’ assistant, and here’s how he sums up his years with her: “We never stopped laughing.” You can believe that about the legendary comedienne, the notion that even when she’s offstage, she’s on. At 78, Rivers is also arguably the hardest-working woman in show business: In addition to her ongoing gig hosting Fashion Police on E! (Friday nights at 10:30), this summer she appeared as herself in both The Smurfs feature film and an episode of Louis C.K.’s Louie on FX. Fold in her nonstop club dates, the 20th anniversary of her QVC collection of fashion jewelry, accessories and ready-to-wear, and her WE TV reality series, Joan & Melissa (just renewed for its second season), and Rivers’ boundless energy becomes nothing less than enviable. That she adds endless laughter to the mix not only cements her legend status, it also makes Joan Rivers one class act.
Describe Miami Style:
Laid back chic. People that like to have a good time—and very gay, thank God. South Beach is like Carmen Miranda's headdress: well put together and full of colorful fruits.
Throughout your years of red carpet-judging, which star wore the worst outfit you've ever seen?
Lady Gaga. We showed her on The Fashion Police on E! during her lesbian phase—she wore a meat pant suit. She's back to heterosexuality so next season she'll be in a simple surf and turf dress.
What's your biggest indulgence in life?
Living well. I work hard but pamper myself alot. For example, I've now added to my staff a plastic surgeon who makes house calls.
How'd you get so rich?
The old fashioned way—on my back. Plus luck. Plus, I'm not so much. I've always been a salaried schmuck who doees it for the love of the doing.
What's the next plastic surgery on your to-do list?
I'm Jewish so my rabbi said, "Like it or not the foreskin has to finally go."
PHOTOGRAPH BY CHARLES WILLIAM BUSH
We're behind the scenes with Marlins outfielder, who now has the largest contract in sports history.